hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
