I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
