I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
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