Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
