she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have fence marks all over my body
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
