Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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