Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
