I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
