Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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