Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
