After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize