i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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