Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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