happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
