it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
