ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
