you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
time to smoke my breakfast
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
