I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
