I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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