part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
