I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We had to coat check the pizza.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
