The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
