Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
No subtext here. People are naked.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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