Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize