i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
nutella sex= disaster
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize