the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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