Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
