i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
ttyl tear gas
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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