super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
