thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize