Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
3 2 1 whiskey
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize