I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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