Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
