Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
