from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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