That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
