Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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