I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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