How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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