If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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