Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
