yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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