i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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