problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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