i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
