She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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