Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
