this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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