OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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