No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
