No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
