I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
