At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
