you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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