if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
