you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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