oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
dude. I can hear the air.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
