god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
